Values, Religion, Sex, and American Bullshit – Sat 7th Apr 07

I do a lot of reading online so I come across a lot of opinions I agree with, and I see a lot of articles, essays and speeches that interest me and sometimes annoy me. I keep seeing one particular form of fuckwittery that turns me into a twitching quivering wreck from rage, making Rainman look like fucking Indiana Jones.

“American values”. What a load of shit. As if America has values and ideals that no one else in the world does.

American has one great thing to be proud of: the Constitution of the United States. It’s a formulation in theory for devising the best possible government and civilisation. Would that the whole planet could be united by a Constitution of the Planet Earth.

Unfortunately the majority of Americans are deluded ignorant self-righteous bible-thumping patriotic flag-waving shitkicking fools who have no idea what their own constitution stands for.

Truth. Justice. Love. Family. Freedom. Equal rights. Life. These are HUMAN values! They’re aren’t “American” values. America is one of the newest nations on the world stage, and I’m pretty sure these values were respected long before those 13 colonies told Great Britain to fuck off.

American this. American that. Blah blah. And American is supposed to represent freedom and democracy in the Information Age? American is shoved down our throats everywhere. As if being the self-appointed Policemen of Justice and Democracy in the world wasn’t enough, Americans claim that their entire nation stands for all the qualities that make humanity great. (The inhabitants of My Lai were unavailable for comment.)

This obsessive patriotism (which borders on nationalism) is not limited to fundamentalist bigots with shit for brains, but can also be found (although less so) amongst the non-religious who are trying to protect “the greatest nation on earth” from a society without church-state separation. I cannot possibly imagine what there is to be proud of being born in a particular location on earth. It’s blind luck; out of your hands. 50-100 miles is nothing in America, but my birth in England 50 miles west would’ve made me Welsh and 100 miles north would’ve made me Scottish. Who cares? I didn’t have a say in it. It’s like being proud over your name. It’s funny how you very rarely see people piss off to a foreign country and want to become a citizen of that country because of its culture and values; strangely enough everyone is just happy to be from where they’re from and wouldn’t want to be any other nationality. Hmmm, what a coincidence.

It’s different if there is some particular part of your heritage that you’re proud of – but being proud of being born in a particular patch of this planet, separated by arbitrary imaginary lines that humans have drawn up over the ages based on geography, religion, and war – seems foolish to me.

Of course if you ask Gary L. Bauer, President of the American Values society, he would disagree. (This man makes a mockery of the name Bauer, now passed into living legend by the great JB himself. The following takes placebeep beep beep – sorry, got carried away there.)

 

The US Supreme Court made two rulings back in 2005 about the displaying of the Biblical Ten Commandments in public places: one allowed the Ten Commandments to remain in public buildings; the other required them to be removed if the Commandments’ religious content is “overemphasized.”

This is in a country with a constitution demanding a separation of church and state. So, sounds good to me so far!

For those who aren’t aware, the Ten Commandments are the supposed God-given instructions in the Bible to Moses as a master guideline for living.

What did Gary Bauer have to say?: “The Ten Commandments rulings today from the U.S. Supreme Court send confusing signals to all Americans who embrace the faith of the Founding Fathers, which is the historical foundation of the world’s greatest legal system.”

Even if you say so yourself. More American autoeroticism I see.

First of all, some of Founding Fathers didn’t have any faith at all. Some considered themselves deists. The 1797 Treaty of Tripoli states: “The government of the United States is not in any sense founded on the Christian Religion.”

So, not only is the faith of (some of) the founding fathers irrelevant, the legal system of American is most certainly not founded on any religion, including the Christian one. Gary Bauer is either stupid or a liar.

More from Bauer: “We are facing the cultural fallout of a loss of knowledge and understanding of the faith which founded a great nation and built a great people.”

Well, as separation of church and state implies, and as the widely varying beliefs of the founding fathers illustrates, and as the quote above proves, the great nation and people of American are not founded on faith, of any kind. Which officially makes America the most deluded hypocritical country in the world.

And more: “It is a sad day when our nation’s highest court closes its eyes to the immutable standards of right and wrong.”

No. It’s a sad day when any human of the 21st century defers reason and modern enlightenment to the superstitious bronze-age ramblings of sheep-herding primitive Jewish chauvinists who worshipped a diabolical God of Wars.

Besides, who would want to follow the Ten Commandments anyway? A could invent a better set of rules for living after a drunken night out and two hours’ sleep.

Commandment 4: “You shall not make for yourself an image, whether in the form of anything that is in heaven above, or that is on the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, punishing children for the iniquity of parents, to the third and the fourth generation of those who reject me.”

In modern times, punishing people for the crimes of others is the definition of anti-justice.

Oh yeah, look closely at the first part of this commandment. It does to rather denounce the use of idols in worship doesn’t it? Remember that the next time you see a Christian with a cross around their neck.

This is Commandment 1: “You shall have no other gods before me.”

If I had to point out the biggest problem in the world today, the above would be it! Oh and guess what the punishment for disobeying the above (well any of the commandments!) was? Yup, death. Adultery, theft, or desiring something you don’t own as capital crimes. Enlightened huh?

I’m not being funny but I wouldn’t last long in that kind of society, and not just because I want to plough Avril Lavigne morning noon and night.

I think having parts of the bible on display is American is a great idea! I would pick out the most revealing parts of the “good book” and hang them up. The Yanks could have “scripture of the year”. I suggest the following for 2007:

Numbers 31:

Verse 7: And they warred against the Midianites, as the LORD commanded Moses; and they slew all the males.”

No preaching. No proselytising. No standing on the mountains faith-healing and asking for money. No going door to door. No trying to felate the leaders of the government or sneaking your faith into every aspect of the Midianite’s lives. Nope. This was the good old days before God could be bothered reaching out to people with love. Ah simpler times: kill anyone who has a different faith from you. Thank God that we no longer live in such times!

Verse 14: “And Moses was wroth with the officers of the host, with the captains over thousands, and captains over hundreds, which came from the battle.”

Moses is pissed off! Oooh. What could have possibly pissed him off? Let’s read on:

Verse 15-16: And Moses said unto them, Have ye saved all the women alive? Behold, these caused the children of Israel, through the counsel of Balaam, to commit trespass against the LORD in the matter of Peor, and there was a plague among the congregation of the LORD.”

Ah, I get it. They pissed off the Lord so naturally we have to kill them because God can’t fight his own battles.

Verse 17: Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him.”

So, kill all the males. All of them. Not just the soldiers. From the babies to the young men, the boys, the elderly and the infirm. If you were male, you were killed. Simple as. In modern times, a person committing such an act would be guilty of war crimes.

But hang on, what about the females?

Verse 18: But all the women children, that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves.”

So all the young girls that are still virgins can be kept alive. Ah, mercy. Kept alive “for yourselves” though. What does this mean? Yup, you know exactly what it means. Spoils of wars. Sex slaves. Of course, how would the brave God-fearing men of Israel know if the girls were still virgins or not? Well there is a physical inspection that can be made to determine this, but I don’t think I need to say much more. Cherry or no cherry – life or death. And teenage girls these days think they have it bad!

Verse 35: “thirty and two thousand persons in all, of women that had not known man by lying with him.”

I think the above, although rather cumbersome compared to the Decalogue (qv), would be an excellent reminder to the American people of what the “foundation” of their society is all about. When asked why America has the “world’s greatest legal system”, Americans can point straight at the plaque hanging on every school wall and in every public place with the above on it.

Back to Bauer: To enter a public building and see and be inspired by — or simply be reminded of — the standards of conduct that great men and women have used for centuries to overcome our most base instincts is a good thing.”

Yeah I think I know what “base instincts” he has in mind, like two people having sex in the privacy of their own homes, whether they’re married or not, or the same sex or not. Who cares? If the Ten Commandments inspire you, I think you probably have a mental illness, but whatever. Just keep it to yourself.

If I really believed I was a lowly human slave to an almighty blood-hungry demanding god with obsessive-compulsive disorder who wanted me to change everything about myself, I might ask why he made me that way in the first place.

Bauer: Whether people read it as a historical narrative or faith-filled ideal is irrelevant. Judicial opinions need to be grounded in consistently applied principle.”

They are. It’s called law.

Bauer one last time: “Sadly, Americans can now only be more confused concerning the rightful place of our historical and religious heritage in society.”

Yeah, they are confused because of fanatics like you who obfuscate an otherwise transparent and clear-cut issue. Freedom of religion includes freedom from religion, which is why the government should always be independent of any groups’ personal beliefs. Otherwise it cannot function objectively.

It’s really quite simple but I’ll spell it out anyway: believe whatever you want. But don’t expect other people to take you seriously. And certainly don’t expect to get some kind of preferential treatment from a government that has vowed not to prefer any religion or lack thereof over another. And certainly don’t try and re-write the history of your own country to make it look like it should!

So what does it mean to be an American? Well, the same as it means to be any other nationality: that you were born in particular place. By chance. Big deal.

As I said before, Americans (and therefore the human race) does have one thing to be proud of: the Constitution. What would truly make America the best nation on earth is if it actually followed it.

Advertisements

5 Responses to “Values, Religion, Sex, and American Bullshit – Sat 7th Apr 07”

  1. My Patron Saint - Mon 23rd Apr 07 « evanescent Says:

    […] cast at a distance though, this is a murkier, distorted, and exaggerated version of reality.  What I said about American rubbish a few blogs ago was that no culture in the world represents any unique set of human values and […]

  2. My Rule of Thumb - Sun 29th Apr 07 « evanescent Says:

    […] could also be pointed out, as I have done before, that America was not founded on any religion let alone Christianity, which the founding fathers […]

  3. amber Says:

    hey i loved your point and your completely right i’m righting about religion and how it’s a behavior that it in all sense of the word *forced* and i was wondering if i would have permission to quote you?

  4. evanescent Says:

    Hi Amber. I’m glad you liked the article. You can quote me in part or whole as long as you provide a reference or link to the original work. Thanks 😉

  5. The Celtic Chimp Says:

    Now that I like. A quality rant.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: