Andorra 0 – 3 Steven Gerrard – Wed 28th Mar 07

I think England games should be shown on Paramount Comedy. This game was laughable for so many reasons.

Andorra couldn’t beat my 5 a side team; they were hopelessly shit. (By the way, what I mean is, they couldn’t beat my 5 a side team, with THEIR eleven a side team – on a full size pitch – with a five goal head-start).

The game showed some of the things that are wrong with football: horrible pathetic dirty players, grown men – rolling around cheating. No wonder people say the age of chivalry is over. The only slight gloss taken off Steven Gerrard’s performance is that he dived too. In my angry spite though part of me always thinks “play them at their own game!” Two wrongs don’t make a right? Yes, that’s true. But you ask any football fan if they saw Portugal lose to a penalty won from a blatant dive and ask them if they wouldn’t piss themselves laughing. I would! Why? Because it’s always hilarious (and sweet) to see people beaten at their own game.

But anyway – why a holding midfielder was played in this game, only Steve McLaren knows. Or does he? Probably not…

If Ashley Cole isn’t the most over-rated player in the world, I don’t know who is. Can’t use his right foot; can barely use his left-foot; can’t cross the ball; is average in defence. (Still better than Phil Neville though, who has the technique of a ladder).

Stewart Downing is barely good enough to play in the Premiership, let alone for England. The one thing he is supposed to be able to do (cross the ball) he barely does any good. I played a little game with myself that every time he tried to cross the ball and didn’t clear the first man, I’d take a little sip of vodka neat. Nedless to shay that botle ish empti now.

The rest of the team weren’t (that) rubbish tonight (so much), but the setup was hopeless.

What does it take to stop England? Bit of hard work and organisation apparently.

It was hilarious to watch though. I don’t feel “one” with England fans at all, but I did agree with them tonight chanting “what a load of rubbish”. Obviously it’s hard to break down teams like this, but that’s football! This is a team with only ONE full-time footballer!

Unfortunately for England, the manager doesn’t have a clue. Fortunately, I don’t care.

Oh, one more thing – I do care about the Liverpool players. Steven Gerrard was class tonight. He won that game for England by himself. He’s just proven why he should be played in his best position ALL game, EVERY game.

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