My Pet Hate – Fri 23rd Mar 07

I recently had the elation of receiving the following Bulletin message in my Myspace Inbox; fool that I am for even checking it in the first place:

“I’m deleting my myspace
Body: I’m deleting my myspace
Body: Since u opened this, ur site will be deleted within 15 min or less .
Sucks cause its not a joke-


The only way u get to keep your myspace is to repost this within 2 minutes with this title! -I’m deleting my myspace-


Sorry guys, I know you hate these things but it is just to see who uses their myspace and who doesnt

(Sorry for this one but not sure whether it would really happen so here it is)”

It seems that no matter where I go on the internet I am plagued by e-mails from attention-seeking losers who invent piss-poor “scary” chain mails just so that one day it gets sent back to them and they can say (to themselves of course since they have no real friends): “wowee! I made that years ago! I created that fake chain letter and here it is sent back to me! I’m famous! Even though nobody knows I wrote it and I can’t take any credit for it at all, but at least it gives my hopeless life some meaning for a few minutes”…… or words to that effect.

Note: when I say attention-seeking losers I don’t necessarily mean the people who forward them, but the embarrassingly simple folk who come up with them in the first place.

Seriously, it just takes a bit of common sense: Myspace competes with hundreds of internet social-groups for customers. What would be the worst thing Myspace could do from a business sense? That’s right: send out shitty poorly-written Bulletin messages threatening to wipe your profile for no good reason on earth. Even if somebody from Myspace really went to town on the glue and alcopops, you think a global announcement to ALL users at the same time would be the professional thing?? As oppose to a forward-mail spread slowly from friend to friend?!

Here’s the real deal kids: Microsoft, AOL, Myspace, Apple, Google, etc etc blah blah can’t track your e-mails, and aren’t going to wipe your account within X number of days unless you forward on an e-mail that was written by someone who couldn’t use capitals, punctuation, or spell correctly. You won’t receive $20 for every person you forward it onto – EVER. You won’t get a mystery prize, oh and guess that?! No one is going to be copied in every 100 e-mails and then send money to some poor baby in a chamber somewhere, born with a tragic loss of common sense.

Here’s the solution: every time someone sends you a chain letter of ANY kind (you can tell by the juvenile subject), don’t read it; just reply immediately: YOU ARE A FUCKWIT.

They’ll (probably) get the message.


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