My derision for “Posh & Becks” – Sun 11th Mar 07

http://entertainment.uk.msn.com/celebrity/PhotoGalleries/article.aspx?cp-documentid=3893165

How Victoria Beckham conquered American? I’m sorry. Can someone explain this “Posh & Becks” breaking America thing, because I really don’t get it.

In terms of “breaking America” for a popstar or music band, I get it… if you make it big in the Rest of the World (C) the hardest thing you can do is win over the Americans. (I don’t know why this is, although curiously showing the stars-and-stripes in the background is always a good place to start). Maybe it’s because the American public is generally too stupid to know a good thing when they’ve got it (e.g. 24, FRIENDS, Family Guy)…which is why these shows are always bigger over in Britain first. Then the Americans get told how great these shows are and start watching them.

But, for the life of me, I just can’t figure out what the Beckhams are trying to sell to American. It’s certainly not music, since one of them has the high-pitched whine of a cat being strangled as it undergoes a vasectomy without anaesthetic, and the other one is David Beckham.

It is their fine range of self-designed clothes and fashion-accessories? Is it their controversial views on politics and lifestyle? Are they plugging themselves for a career, or job, or particular spot in any American field?

No. The truth is, they have nothing to offer anyone. On anything. At any time. They are incredibly-overpaid parasites that have made a career (?!) out of doing nothing in particular. And the only reason they are the mega-celebrities that they are is because so many people are so interested in other peoples’ lives over their own, that they invest so much attention and interest into what famous people are doing… papparazis wouldn’t bother taking secret photos if worthless fuckwits (tabloid readers) didn’t want to see them!

“Inside: SEE POSH-SPICE’S SIDE-BOOB!”

Who gives a flying fuck with currents on top?? I can think of a million things more interesting in life than the Beckhams, and one of those millions things would in fact be: everything else besides the Beckhams.

The only saving grace about the pair of them is they’re a constant reminder that money begets money, and you can be a “success” in life whilst having precious little skill or expertise in anything. (cough Jade Goody cough)… which brings me to Big Brother…

…I’m not even going to start.

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