My hatred of radio – Mon 29th Jan 07

Is every radio station dire shit, or just every one I listen to? Probably Radio 1 is an exception. Not because it doesn’t play shitty music (what radio station doesn’t?), but because all the others play the SAME songs, at almost the SAME time of the day, EVERY day. And, they have their “hit” songs, which get aired at least 3 days in a working day.

They even play some abstract song from 5-10 years ago (not a good one, obviously), and you think “oh well, at least this is different. They’re varying it a bit.” (It’s kinda like being glad a psychopath is using a penknife on you, if only because it’s a break from the scalpel). Until they play the exact same one-hit wonder the next day! What the fuck?! Do radio-broadcasters not LISTEN to the music they play, or do they (as I suspect) just sit there drooling into the microphone spewing shit about their daily life until the red light comes on and they can press a button to skip to the next track on the NOW 65 album, and then retire to a vegetative state.

Well, I’ve answered my own question, because most radio stations have a collection of NOW albums and generic pop compilations and just play them over and over, sometimes even in varying order! We should be grateful for small miracles eh?!<br><br>Century FM, the flagship of Commercial Underwhelming Numbingingly Trash radio (there’s an acronym there) prides itself on its “80s 90s and now!” Well, guess what, there were more bands and artists in the 80s besides Tiffany, Bananarama, Whitney Houston, or any female artist that didn’t sing in a chick-flick, or didn’t do cheesy bubblegum pop music. When was the last time Century played Duran Duran (not Rio again!! oh wait, Rio is probably the only one on your compilation album isnt’ it?), or a A-Ha, or some of U2’s great songs from the 80s?

90s? In other words, the best song you can expect to hear is Crowded House. And even then, it’s “Weather with you” because it got the highest in the charts, and wasn’t even their best song. But then, when you know fuck all about music that’s to be expected.

Think of the some of the best bands of the 90s! Well, you won’t be hearing them on your average radio station.

And as for “Now”… when radio stations say “now” music, what they really mean is “music that WAS in the charts recently although we didn’t broadcast it, until it finally came out on the latest chart double-CD and we could buy it, and then annihilate the disc by playing it 5 times a day”. Keane got a new song out?? Good stuff, except you’ll hear their last hit every day until the new one drops out the charts, gets released on a compilation album, and then you’ll hear it. Every day. Until your ears bleed. And the words to “This is the last time” take on more and more significance.

Even if they did play “new” music which, to their credit, Radio 1 does, why does it have to be new CHART music?? Everyone knows that only little chav kids buy singles any more, so all you’ll get in the charts is one rebellious wannabe gangster rapper after another, after you’ve waded through the obligatory juvenile pop shit and “look at me, I’m really deep” angst-ridden teenage shit. E.g.: JoJo. “Get out…right now…it’s the end of you and me…” Get out of what?? The classroom?? Your mum and dad’s house?? Come back when you’ve had your first period you little brat. “Too little…too late…”, what is? Cramming for your latest school exam? Apologising for your latest detention after class?? Give me a break. Your voice MIGHT sound better when you take the studio-edited synthesised crap away, but hey we’ll never know! And I’d rather have a prostate exam from a tank then listen to more of your bilge.

“New” music should be “new” from all genres of music, whether famous or not. Every day, pick a new up-and-coming artist that no one’s heard of, let them pick their fav song to date, and play it on the radio. If they make it big, you get commission. If they don’t, you’ve lost nothing, and you’ve played something original and new for a change.

Don’t keep playing [Artist/Band]’s latest hit. Play it every now and then, and pick another song off their album and play it (simple huh?). There are millions and millions of songs throughout human history!! Are we to believe that poxy commercial radio can only play from about 20 (I’m being generous) different songs over an 8 hour period every day?!

Well, of course they don’t have to, but they will. Because radio stations have the cushiest laziest jobs in the world, and none of them are any good at it. They hate EVERY single one of us, and they try to torture us through their gobshite music! Any self-respecting music-loving person must boycott crappy commercial radio stations until they get the hint.

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